A Decent Proposal
Way back in HelpX #3, we realized that it made a lot more sense to travel the South Island before winter set in than it did to continue soaking in the North Island summer warmth. We raced down to Stewart Island, but hit an unexpected speed bump when Stefan had to go take care of some job interviews. Dagmar kept exploring Dunedin, and we almost got things back on track when we bought a car in Christchurch, but then pressed Pause again for a little thing called COVID. New Zealand got that under control fairly quickly, and as Level 4 dropped to Level 3, we did a bit more exploring of the Otago Peninsula. As Level 3 gave way to Level 2, inter-region travel opened up, and we could finally pick up the plan we had left off several months earlier.
With it already being mid-May, winter was approaching fast. Add to that Stefan’s recent acceptance of a job in Denver that would start in August, and we realized we were going to have a real time crunch to see everything we wanted in New Zealand. Like a Southern Hemisphere hurricane, we decided to start off by making a clockwise whirlwind trip through everything we had left in the South Island.
Dunedin to Te Anau
Our first destination after leaving Dunedin was the little tourist town of Te Anau. When we had visited with Stefan’s family the previous Christmas, Dagmar had to return to the US right before Stefan got to visit the beautiful fjords around this area. So although it was a bit out of the way of the rest of our itinerary, we couldn’t leave it off our list. With the local economy almost entirely dependent on tourists, Te Anau was sadly very strongly affected by the closed borders, looking absolutely desolate in comparison to what we had seen a little over a year prior. That was good news for us, however, as it meant AirBnB prices were through the floor: we found a house with something on the order of 6 bedrooms for close to $20 US per night–a deal which was even luckier for us as we had originally accidentally booked an AirBnB in Queenstown instead of Te Anau. Still recovering from our less-than-ideal conditions at HelpX #4, we were very happy to enjoy the luxurious sofa and watched multiple movies throughout our stay, including the classic New Zealand horror comedy Black Sheep featuring every Kiwi’s worst nightmare: no, not Chris Farley (that’s another Black Sheep)–an uprising of cannibalistic sheep. Other fun selections included the Jumanji reboot and Gremlins.
We visited a few of the deserted tourist shops and talked with the owners about how they were dealing with the economic impact of COVID. Obviously things were not good, but we were happy to hear that they were giving supplemental income from government assistance. Even more uplifting was the appearance of sign-in sheets in every store entrance. Soon replaced by a COVID tracer app, this simple step seems like such a piece of common sense: if someone were to come down with COVID, there’s a record of every public place they’ve been, the time they were there, and what other people could have potentially been exposed during that visit. Every public venue in the country has a QR code that you simply scan just before entering the store, and you’re done. The success of this app was on full display just a couple days before this blog post was written: even after many people had become complacent with the app after almost 3 months without a single case of community transmission, a recent infection was quickly pinpointed and contact traced due to the woman’s fastidious use of the app. The thought of implementing something like this in the US is laughable, as fears of Big Brother and “Don’t Tread On Me” protests would obviously run wild, but it is yet another sobering reminder of all of the incredibly rational steps which could have been taken in the US to mitigate the complete disaster which our pandemic “response” turned out to be.
Besides the tourist shops, we were also thrilled to eat in our first restaurant since the world had fallen apart. We went to a Thai place right next door to a delicious Indian restaurant Stefan had eaten at with his parents the previous Christmas. After excitedly looking through the menu and placing our order, Dagmar’s phone alarm went off: for her remote job as a contractor for a San Francisco healthcare startup, she had to run a database query twice a day, which ended up being at relatively inconvenient times in the New Zealand time zone. So she leapt up from the table and sprinted across town to get back to the AirBnB while Stefan waited for their food to get boxed up so he could follow. Their first restaurant visit ended up turning into an on-the-couch takeout, but it was still fantastic to get some food we hadn’t cooked ourselves. We hadn’t participated a couple weeks prior when Kiwis across New Zealand went absolutely bananas for McDonalds reopening their drive-through, so it was nice to have a little taste of luxury!
Lest you think we spent the entirety of our time in a famed tourist destination spot stuffing our faces and watching movies, we did, believe it or not, make it outside! Our first day in Te Anau was a bit wet and rainy, so we headed over to the tourist information office to see what they advised given our time window in the area along with the weather, but it wasn’t due to open from the COVID restrictions until the next day. So we spontaneously decided to make the 1.5 hour windy drive through the mountains to Milford Sound, the number one attraction in the area.
Stefan had seen it on a very wet day when he had been here with his parents, and all the rainfall had actually enhanced the experience, with hundreds of little rivulets of water trickling down the sides of the gorge like fat marbling on a piece of steak.
Knowing there was at least one destination which would be beautiful despite inclement weather, we decided to make the drive that same day. Along the way, our decision to buy Fitz, our tiny little Toyota Vitz (which had recently ended up in a ditch) was reaffirmed; we had thought about the prospect of following a typical New Zealand backpacker move by purchasing a self-contained van, which would let us camp and save significantly on housing expenses. Seeing one of those tipped over on its side after sliding off the icy, narrow, windy roads on the way to Milford Sounds, however, put the final nail in the coffin of any regret we might have had–we were having enough trouble navigating the roads even with our tiny little Fitz!
The people in the van were unhurt, but ended up being some of the very few we saw that day. On your way to Milford Sound, you have to pass through a 1.2 km tunnel, which has a stoplight gate on both sides. The previous year, Stefan had waited with his parents in a line of close to 50 cars on their way into the Sound while just as many poured out through the exit. This year, however, there wasn’t a single other car in sight. With the border closed to tourists, we had this world-famous travel destination entirely to ourselves!
You’ll notice from the photos that something else was different: not only did we have this gorgeous scenery to ourselves, it was covered in a clear blue sky. 2020 might have been a bad year for the world, but we have to admit that for us personally, our luck was incredible.
While the COVID situation meant no ferries were running up and down the Sound itself, we were free to stroll about and enjoy the once-in-a-lifetime experience to soak in the environment without the typical swarm of crowds. There was an eerie sense of isolation in being so far from civilization, ringed in by the steep cliffs of the fjord, far away from any cell phone towers, but it was absolutely stunning. If Stefan had had his act together, the long, walkable peninsula with a bench facing all this gorgeous scenery would have been a great place to propose…but he’s a chronic excuse maker and the lack of preparation due to not anticipating the great conditions of today’s spontaneous trip, let alone the trip itself, sufficed as a perfectly serviceable excuse for that day!
Proposing was on the menu though; after 5 years of dating and somewhere around 20 of knowing one another, even perennial slowpoke Stefan was pretty sure that Dagmar wasn’t some crazy axe-murderer. Crazy, sure, but she had so far been perfectly content to stay curled up indoors and leave all the axing to Stefan.
Dagmar had already commissioned a ring made of pounamu (New Zealand greenstone sacred in Maori culture which you might recognize from the Heart of Te Fiti in Moana) from a local artisan: Courtney Marama. Dagmar has a long history of guessing Stefan’s surprises before he’s able to make them happen, and he suspected that if he waited until the ring was finished, Dagmar would sniff out any surprise he could come up with long before he could execute it. So he decided he would have to find an opportunity somewhere along their travels before the ring was complete!
Having visited the main attraction in the area on their first day, we looked for other places to go. Unfortunately, the majority of the hikes in the region were closed down–not due to COVID, but because of severe flooding which had devastated the area and required helicopter evacuation of dozens of tourists. We did manage to do part of the first day of the Kepler Track, one of New Zealand’s 10 Great Walks. At this time of year, we didn’t have the proper gear to risk the snowy conditions of the multi-day tramp, but we did do a section on the first day from the carpark to Brod Bay, then part of the way to Luxmore Hut.
The section between Brod Bay and Luxmore Hut was a long, steep climb up the wooded side of a mountain. Stefan was hoping that they could make it far enough up to clear the treeline and enjoy a spectacular view of the surrounding area, which could potentially make a great location for the proposal!
After several hours of hiking with no idea how close the treeline was, we decided to turn around and get back in time for Dagmar’s database query.
As they hiked back down the mountain, Stefan initially thought the proposal pressure was off for the day. But as they passed Broad Bay, beautiful sunshine had come out to light up a golden beach.
With no one else in sight, Stefan thought this might be the opportune moment. He nervously asked Dagmar if she wanted to take a break to enjoy the beach before heading back, and took out the list of questions he had prepared on his phone. All the way back in March of 2015, when Stefan had left a conference/spring break combo in Costa Rica early to visit Dagmar for what became the beginning to our ‘official’ relationship, Dagmar had brought along a New York Times article with 36 questions for new couples to ask one another to establish a strong relationship. Stefan had thought it would be a cute callback to show those questions worked by going over them again 5 years later prior to proposing. Upon reviewing those questions, however, Stefan found that questions about your house catching fire, family members suddenly passing away, and contemplating your own lonely demise were perhaps not the best tone-setters for a romantic proposal. Instead, he came up with a list of his own questions about favorite past memories from their relationship, positive elements of the present, and hopes for the future.
Questions in hand, Stefan and Dagmar headed out to the beautiful, isolated beach. Within moments, another couple appeared out of nowhere and sat nearby. Stefan has never been particularly comfortable with PDA–early on in our relationship, Dagmar had to politely tell him that holding hands in public was not some obscene affront everyone around them would be disgusted by, and it was, in fact, perfectly normal. Even having overcome this aversion, Stefan wasn’t particularly keen on the idea of proposing with others watching, but decided to show some character growth and awkwardly went ahead with the questions anyway.
Dagmar was thrilled, as in general it’s fair to say that Stefan does not come up with the most sentimental or spontaneous romantic gestures. We started in on the questions about our past, reflecting on our first memories of one another, our favorite dates throughout our relationship, etc. Stefan was committed! No turning back now! Not even for that annoying sandfly that kept buzzing around him. There, got it. Oh, now there’s two more. That’s okay, power through!!
Even though being eaten alive by sandflies was not the most romantic sensation, Stefan was determined to persevere now that he had set things in motion. But Dagmar–as yet unaware that Stefan had initiated his proposal plan–soon realized her query was coming up and made a proposal of her own: why not finish the questions another day and start heading back to get the query done? So although things had started out with Ooos and Aaahs, the proposal attempt was aborted. Stefan was a bit relieved, as he again had one of those excuses he likes so much!
Te Anau > Queenstown
Having seen what we could in Te Anau, we made our way to our next stop: Queenstown. This was actually the area where we had spent a significant amount of time during our Christmas trip the previous year (including enjoying New Year’s Eve fireworks with a couple of travellers up on a hill overlooking the lake), so our time here was limited to a quick overnight stop. That still gave us time to explore the town, which again seemed like a totally different place to the one that had been packed with tourists a year prior. In particular, the gourmet burger joint Fergburger, known for its line which typically stretches several blocks down the street at all times of day, had about a 30 second wait while the only people in front of us paid for their meal.
We also went to a little tourist shop where we found Stefan’s ring: a simple band made from pounamu. Well, supposedly–on sale for less than $20, it’s probably plastic, but Stefan couldn’t be happier: counter-culturalist wet sandbag that he is, Stefan feels the same about wedding rings as he does about Hallmark Valentine’s cards, and isn’t entirely convinced that he needs to spend thousands of dollars on purposeless rocks of questionable ethical providence just because society says that’s normal. What he has is a great reminder of an incredible year on the other side of the world, a fantastic relationship, and if it falls down the garbage disposal, it’s nothing more than a terrific excuse (again, he loves those) to take a trip back to New Zealand to replace it!
We stayed the night in a cute tiny house overlooking Lake Wakatipu. It was definitely way too small for two people to live in comfortably long term, but for one person it would have been just fine. This was our first stay in a legitimate tiny house, and it was a lot of fun seeing how efficient space design and shedding your expectations can really make a place of just a couple square feet seem livable.
The next day, we took a short hike around nearby Moke Lake. Stefan again considered continuing with his proposal, sneaking chocolate and his proposal gear into his coat, but he didn’t quite have the perfect opportunity or the nerve. Plus it was muddy. Excuses! After finishing the hike, we got in the car and headed on to a little town outside of Aoraki / Mount Cook, Twizel.
Queenstown > Twizel
In Twizel, we found an absolutely amazing studio AirBnB. Reading about the details of each and every one of our AirBnBs may not be the most exciting thing in the world, but after spending so much time in the run-down accommodations of HelpX #4, clean, warm living conditions became a priceless commodity. Everywhere we had stayed in Level 2 had been a step up from our tent on a potentially mouse-infested mattress, but they had all still been a bit chilly. Twizel, however, had nice, fluffy sheets, a beautiful shower, and insulation that actually kept the heat inside. Dagmar added to this luxury by cooking some class-A meals, particularly her rice/broccoli/tofu/hummus Buddha bowls. We were living the good life!
On our first day in Twizel, we took a little walk around the village, where we started on a podcast which would soon become a hiking staple: Binge Mode: Game of Thrones. Binge Mode does episode-by-episode breakdowns of famous properties (we originally started their Harry Potter series all the way back in St. Louis, and had only just finished it on the Kepler Track), and their mix of deep,insightful analysis along with laugh-out-loud hilarious jokes finds that perfect sweet spot in good podcasting between informative and entertaining content.
Dagmar had only recently dove into Game of Thrones with an epic level binge of her own, starting Season 1 Episode 1 the week after Season 8 Episode 3 aired, and watching 72 hour-long episodes in order to catch up in time to watch the series finale a little over 2 weeks later. For those of you doing the math, that’s between 14-21% of the total 336-504 hours between those two times (we’re not exactly sure how long before the finale she started the series). That takes some serious skill that only a lifetime of laying around watching TV can train you for.
Watching the show at that pace had caused Dagmar to skate over some of the details, and Stefan relished the opportunity to be able to say over and over “Well, in the books…” So listening to Binge Mode on our hikes made everyone happy!
The day we started it with our walk around the village was uncharacteristically sunny and warm, and Stefan again considered proposing, but instead of taking the scenic route with mountain views, we turned back through a residential neighborhood and Stefan decided cul-de-sacs were again not the most romantic environment. Another excuse found!
Our stay in Twizel was designed to let us explore Aoraki / Mount Cook, which you might recognize as the Lonely Mountain in the Hobbit movies–neither of us did, as not even Stefan wanted to sit through the Hobbit movie trainwrecks, as much as he absolutely venerates the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
We made the ~1 hour drive to get our first views of the amazing mountains, and were surprised to find a comparatively large number of people; as Level 2 had now been in effect for a couple of weeks, people were starting to creep back out of their houses and explore the outdoors. We still likely had nothing compared to the normal crowds in these areas, but we both had to contend with full bladders now that we couldn’t just step off the side of the trail at the slightest urge!
For our first day, we hiked the Hooker Valley Track, which takes you under the mountain and to a beautiful frozen glacial lake. Despite the number of people, Stefan again threw embarrassment to the wind and picked up with his relationship questions. They had finished those about the Past, and, sitting together on a rock in front of the incredible lake with the snow-capped mountain looming in the background, we started in with the questions on the Present.
Once again, it didn’t take long for Dagmar to decide that we should save the remaining questions for another day and head back home. She claims not to have had any idea these were part of a proposal, but as stated at the beginning of this post, she has a sixth sense for spoiling any surprises prepared by Stefan.
On the way back, we took another mini-hike to a glacier in the same area. At the lookout over the glacier, there were photos showing its recession over the last several decades. Even over our own lifetimes, it had receded the length of several football fields, which was very disheartening. This was yet another of the many reminders we saw throughout our time in New Zealand of the necessity of taking care of our planet. Again, we are not entirely proud of our multiple plane trips over the past several years, but we are trying to do what we can by being more conscious about the waste we produce, the products we buy, and the food we eat. If you’re interested in making some small changes to make your own life just a little bit greener, Stefan recently finished this book. It’s a really quick read, with ~1 page sections dedicated to answering common eco questions like
- “Is it greener to wash by dishes, by hand, or to use the dishwasher?”
- “When waiting for a train to pass, is it more efficient to leave my engine idling or to turn it on and off?”
- “What type of meat is worst for the environment?”
- “Is almond, cashew, oat, or soy milk more eco-friendly?”
Don’t expect yourself to implement every single change suggested in the book, but it serves as a wonderful quick reference for small steps you can take to help the environment.
We returned to the mountains after another day or two, and we had even better luck this time, with an amazing, photogenic day full of sunshine.
The hike we chose, Sealy Tarns, ended up being extremely steep, with a little over 500 meters in elevation change over just a couple of kilometers. All of our hiking was slowly starting to take its toll on Dagmar, who was huffing and puffing with burning legs all day long. Stefan’s chipper demeanor at how great a day it was and repeated insistence at how we were “almost there” certainly didn’t help Dagmar’s mood! When we finally got to the top, however, we were treated to one of the most spectacular views we had had during our entire stay in New Zealand.
This time, we had no risk whatsoever of other people intruding on us, as we were seemingly the only ones crazy enough to attempt the ascent. Although Dagmar had been a bit cranky due to all the pain she was in (apparently she was experiencing some abdominal cramping, too), Stefan knew it was a good sign that he still loved being with her even on her worst days, and decided he had finally found the right spot to finish up his proposal questions. Dagmar, however, didn’t want any part of anything but napping.
Stefan, slowly getting the impression that his sense of timing was not the best, aborted his planned proposal for the fifth time. Repeatedly working up the nerve to start the process was proving to be somewhat emotionally draining, and he was beginning to worry that he had missed his best opportunities to propose before time ran out. Dagmar noticed on the way home that he was a bit put out and felt really bad about how she treated him with the “stop saying we’re almost there!” remarks. So, although they had intended that to be their last trip to the mountains, she suggested making the 2-hour round trip one last time the following day to do one more hike.
This time, we chose Red Tarns, still a fairly steep trail but this time around everybody was in a better mood. We got to the top just as the sun was beginning to set behind the mountains, and in the fading daylight, we shared some mandarin oranges and finished up the set of Future questions. Despite Stefan’s attempts to stall, another pair of hikers had decided to stop and enjoy the view just a couple of feet away, and they hadn’t left by the time we finished the questions.
So he took Dagmar a little farther up the hill to a bench, and as Dagmar sat down, he got down on one knee and pulled out his glasses case (it may not be a ring box, but it snaps open like one!). Inside was a small orange ticket–a coupon for One Free Wish that Dagmar had given him on their first Valentine’s Day, but which–much to Dagmar’s chagrin–he had never cashed in. Stefan asked Dagmar if she would honor the coupon and grant his wish for her to marry him.
Once Dagmar had foolishly accepted, Stefan produced a second coupon, also from the same Valentine’s Day: this one was for One Free Dare, and Stefan said that as long as she was in the business of accepting long-expired coupons, then he dared her to organize a proposal of her own at some point before they got married. To see whether or not she carried out that dare, you’ll have to stay tuned to future entries in our blog!
Thanks for reading! If you’d like a personalized postcard, the first 3 people to answer the following question by February 28th will get one!
Q: What is the name of the mountain range which Aoraki / Mount Cook sits in?
About Dagmar and Stefan: We are a couple in love with traveling, meeting new people, learning about different cultures, eating good food, and sharing our experiences with others. Currently, we are spending the year 2020 traveling across New Zealand with a Working Holiday Visa!
3 Comments
Jaclyn
Southern Alps? 🤣
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